The Root of my current Awkwardness

I know that I am INCREDIBLY socially awkward. This started when I was in eighth grade. I had recently converted to Islam and my parents were super pissed. They moved me to school B from school A and I knew I would be going to school C (the largest school in my state) for high school with the majority of kids from all around the city (basically I'd be seeing most of my friends from school A one year later for high school).

Having a very conservative view of Islam, I decided I would end my jihad of talking to boys when I moved to school B (This didn't work out at all by the way, and after a bit I realized that carrying out a casual conversation with a member of the opposite sex isn't a sin. It's okay.). I also decided I would stay loyal to all my friends at school A and totally isolate myself from everyone at school B (This also didn't work out. I'm an ambivert, so I need SOME friends, plus you can be loyal to your old friends while making new ones).

On top of separating myself from most of the students, my depression got really bad and I wasn't dealing with it so well, especially since my parents were not around for me and I wasn't seeing my therapist.

So the year of awkwardness and isolation began. I had a small circle of really great friends, some of whom I still talk to, but I never totally fit in and wasn't really making an effort to have a social life. I conversed with people from an internet forum that I visited frequently (thank GOD I stopped posting there) and read a lot (something that I don't do as much, unfortunately).

I don't know how to get over the awkwardness that I let take over myself. Eighth grade was probably the worst year of my life and I'm still recovering.