Debate Camp Anxiety!

UTNIF CX Novice in ten more days!

I am extremely nervous because I pretty much know NOTHING about the camp. I have never been to Austin. The UT campus is HUGE. During the 2011-12 school year there were over 50,000 students.

I am nervous because I don't want to be the only girl. I am nervous because I am the only one from my school going to this specific session.

I am nervous because everyone expects me to be this amazing debater, and I am worried that I won't be. 


I'm scared that I'll get lost on the ginormous campus and that I won't make it to my labs on time.

I'm nervous that I won't be able to find a good partner. I'm nervous that when I come back I won't have a good partner.

What do I need to bring? Is the food in the dorms bad? I'm too nervous to make a thread on Cross-X.com!

I'm not the nervous novice for nothing.

I'm not as anxious as I was a while back but I think the anxiety will flare up as the first day of camp gets closer.

Oh and another thing, it will be Ramadan while I'm there. My best guess will be that I'll have to make up four days of fasting.

What are people going to think about the hijabi debater with the extremely Jewish last name? I always wonder about that.

Three months ago at NFL Districts, HS told me that people would underestimate me. I'm short, I'm a girl, I'm a hijabi. But it wouldn't matter, because they would be caught off guard and would be blown away as soon as I started. And I want to believe him.

ZS and NG told me to get back from camp and go to the first tournament where nobody will know what's going on and run a K and win the entire thing. What about judgefucks? What if I can't run a K properly? What if my partner can't keep up?

And AM as well as DL want me to debate JV with them as soon as I can. I really want to debate JV at least once my novice year just for the heck of it. But I'm not sure.

So much anxiety over something so small.

27 more days until debate camp

All I need to do is mail off the forms, but I'm set.

I'm so ready for this. These 27 more days are going to drag, especially because I have to spend my days watching my mom's horrible dog, who insists on peeing in the house and chewing everything in sight.

I watched NFL Nats today and there were only 3 female champions out of the 14 people on the stage. it made me feel like the odds are stacked against me as a girl competing in forensics.

i'm worried that i wont' be a good debater, even after all the cross-x.com threads i've creeped, the rounds i've watched, the discussions about debate i've had, and the camp i'm going to. it just seems kinda of complicated right now, once you get down to the nitty-gritty, and i'm worried i'll be bad.

i'm afraid of failure.

there was an oratory about how our culture treats failure as a bad thing and how in other cultures, it's used as a point for teaching you how to learn and how it's more acceptable. it got 5th. it was an okay-ish oratyr.