My highs were high and my lows were low. And during my emotional highs, I've felt as though I was just so happy- too happy- and that I needed something negative to bring myself down. With depression, anger and sadness were my defaults, and being happy or excited, especially for extended periods of time, was abnormal. I had to force myself to find something to be angry about, and I usually did, dragging myself down to my normal depression.
Lately I've been happy all the time, but not abnormally happy. It's starting to feel more normal, and there's less of a need to be sad or angry at someone. I'm less quick to anger.
The past month has been a lot better. My relationship with my mom has been much, much healthier. We spent some time together shopping and watching TV yesterday. She wasn't mad when I made last minute plans. I haven't groaned when she has asked me to do chores.
We say "I love you" a lot.
The trick? I'm not sure. I've found that I have to keep myself constantly busy with school, debate, and other extracurriculars, especially the state National History Day competition coming up in a few weeks. If I'm not busy, I'm sitting around on the internet all day feeling sad and bad for myself.
Now I just have to find the perfect balance between being super stressed and busy all the time and doing nothing at all.
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